First posted : Sep 7, 2008 6:42 PM
by Moannie
I was reading [ sadly these two posts no longer exist] who have written posts along the same lines, concerning our obsession with aging, and 'looking good.] and I thought, why do we do it? Why do we fret about our laughter wrinkles and our smile lines? Why do we test every product promising permanent perfection? [lord how I love alliteration] and baby skin? What has made us so vulnerable that we fear encroaching signs of life's battering?
Obviously we are genetically programmed to be the hunted, and so we must - if we want to be caught - make ourselves as attractive as possible. But having allowed ourselves to be captured then it is up to us whether we want to continue in our efforts to be ever young and lovely.
Or, do we do it for ourselves? Surely we do.
I think poet lady had the partial answer when she talks about the invisibility of the old. It is true, it does happen I'm afraid. Gone are the days when you got 'wolf whistles' [I loved it...don't talk to me about 'political correctness'] or heads turning when you entered a room, but like everything else that occurs in old age, it creeps up so slowly that when you do realise you are just another statistic, you don't really care too much.
[Liar liar pants on fire!]
Actually, you do care, and if you are anything like me you keep fighting it. You don't ask the usual questions of your mate, those awkward questions designed, if you had only known, to give him the heebie jeebies - like, will you still love me when I'm old and grey - does this colour suit me etc. because if you are still together it is either because you are both stubborn old coots who won't leave home, or he loves you, you idiot. So you go on slathering on the creams and lotions, increase the stomach crunches and watch the calories and keep dyeing the hair, unless, like me you finally have platinum hair that doesn't require you to sit for hours under the nimble fingers of Claude or Charles.
Obviously we are genetically programmed to be the hunted, and so we must - if we want to be caught - make ourselves as attractive as possible. But having allowed ourselves to be captured then it is up to us whether we want to continue in our efforts to be ever young and lovely.
Or, do we do it for ourselves? Surely we do.
I think poet lady had the partial answer when she talks about the invisibility of the old. It is true, it does happen I'm afraid. Gone are the days when you got 'wolf whistles' [I loved it...don't talk to me about 'political correctness'] or heads turning when you entered a room, but like everything else that occurs in old age, it creeps up so slowly that when you do realise you are just another statistic, you don't really care too much.
[Liar liar pants on fire!]
Actually, you do care, and if you are anything like me you keep fighting it. You don't ask the usual questions of your mate, those awkward questions designed, if you had only known, to give him the heebie jeebies - like, will you still love me when I'm old and grey - does this colour suit me etc. because if you are still together it is either because you are both stubborn old coots who won't leave home, or he loves you, you idiot. So you go on slathering on the creams and lotions, increase the stomach crunches and watch the calories and keep dyeing the hair, unless, like me you finally have platinum hair that doesn't require you to sit for hours under the nimble fingers of Claude or Charles.
Aging is inevitable. I do use lotions because they feel good on my dry skin. I quite dying my hair as a test right after I retired and then realized I never was a high maintenance woman...probably why I never got chased by more than a few men.
ReplyDeleteOh how I wish for platinum hair! I would save so much in having it coloured. Mine looks like salt and pepper I'm afraid. Me. I don't bother much with my appearance (apart from the covering the greys that is) probably because I have no man around and I'm not interested in attracting one either.I do hate that my body complains if I just walk down to town though, and that pain in my arthritic knee every time I walk up some stairs.
ReplyDeleteWell as I am now old and grey....... and so is he!!!!!!! There isn't any point in worrying about it.
ReplyDeleteI am not too bothered about what I look like these days but quite bothered by how I feel. If I am comfortable in something, then that is OK!
Maggie X
Nuts in May
I must admit I'm quite vain about my hair. It was drummed into me by my beautiful blonde mother that your hair is your crowning glory and with a nice "do" and a bit of lipstick you'll always look good. After all, I have to do something to counteract all the sag elsewhere - keep the eyes looking upwards instead of down. ;D
ReplyDeleteWolf whistles? What are they? I don't remember ever getting one!! It would be nice to just grow old graciously but I think with all the media coverage and tiny-framed models that get spread over magazine pages, we have little choice but to keep up. I, however, refuse to go down the diet/botox/trying-every-cream-on-the-market route. I'll just be me, plain and simple. And if people don't like it, then they can lump it!!
ReplyDeleteCJ xx
I would love platinum hair. Truly. Mine is dishwater dull and starting to look a bit 'pube like' around the hairline!! Could'nt live without moisturiser though and always have to wear lip balm and mascara...am seriously thinking about having some eyebrows painted in .. what do you think? good idea? bad idea?
ReplyDeleteI'm blessed with memories of a grandmotherly grandmother. If I think about it, she was deeply wrinkled and softly comfortable in build. But, man, did she ever smell good! As long as my grandchildren like to cuddle and snuggle with me, I'm a happy old lady. So I try to keep my skin feeling good (using lotions and potions I make in the kitchen) and to keep myself smelling good (once again I make my own scents from the garden). Men have come and gone - my little people are what it's all about for me. Might be odd but hey what's old age without a little eccentricity??
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this post so well. Did we really believe the wolf whistles and head turning looks would last forever? Well, yes, I think I did believe that.
ReplyDeleteNow, I have a sign in my bathroom that says, "silver is the new blonde." That is my fantasy, and I am going to keep believing that little saying.
I understand, Moannie - I started going grey when I was in my mid-20s!
ReplyDeleteI quit dying my hair when I noticed wads of it in the tub after I had washed it. I decided grey hair was better than bald. (it stopped falling out by the droves when I quit using hair dye and hot rollers) I have always used moisturizer....not because I think it will make me look younger (ha!), but because my skin is dry without it and that makes it itch. I quit doing crunches in my forties. My grandmothers and great grandmothers didn't excercise and all lived to be in their late 80's and 90's. I figure working is enough excercise (and lifting my two granddaughters). My hubby went bald in his forties, and I started getting chin whiskers then (I refuse to call it a beard). We both have accepted ourselves and our aging bodies.
ReplyDeleteI do think you hit it right on the nose when you said that the elderly become invisible....we tend to tuck them away in nursing homes so that we don't have to witness what will inevitably be happening to ourselves. Pitty. We could learn so much from them.
thanks for the good story
ReplyDeleteThere is a delightful memoir written by Diana Athill, called Somewhere Towards the End, that might be of interest to you. She discusses this very topic; it's a great read.
ReplyDeleteI love listening to the stories of older generations. I must say, though, that I am quite guilty of ignoring the elderly, mostly because I find that they remind me of my own mortality, as well as the devastating loss of my grandmother some years ago. She was so very dear to me and I fear that keeping close with the elderly will only bring more pain. I know full well that death is imminent for all beings, of course, but that does not make it any easier to accept.
I've really enjoyed reading through your posts; thank you for sharing your thoughts!
"At the age of fifty, everyone has the face they deserve," said Orwell, and he was right. My best cosmetic is a kind smile, I find...
ReplyDelete