Tuesday 31 January 2012

THE NEW, NOT SO NICE, ME.

Since the advent of The Flecker I've changed. To be expected most of you will say...be odd if you hadn't.You must be apprehensive, angry, frustrated at your lack of control over the day to day running of your household...irritated by the restrictions the symptoms place upon you..and yes, a little bit of all of that comes into it but the biggest change is in my attitude to the world around me.

I just don't care who is running the Rovers Return or the Queen Vic. It means naught to me if  Dr. Who regenerates without me or if the Daleks take over the world. I have no interest in knowing which of the three Stoogies have put their foot in their mouths and lied to us again on National telly, nor do I care who wins
 the US presidency, who is the chef du jour, who escaped the Jungle, skated their socks off, won any one of Cowell's tacky shows or became a multi-millionaire over night. I cannot read further than the first lines of any book or newspaper before losing interest and spend a good deal of time staring off into space while listening to Radio Four...the only medium that does not bore me to tears. 
 
The wide circle I do care about encompasses half the world includes the family of course and old friends and my blogging mates.

As for the rest it's still all about me.

20 comments:

  1. an important message for all of us to focus our energies thoughtfully whilst we have the time

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  2. You are an incredibly insightful lady, most people would not be able to verbalize this one.
    You have every right to be where you are in your head.
    Best to you.

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  3. Having spent the better part of last year dividing my time between husband in hospital and office I relate .. sometimes the stress becomes so great you dont even know its stress, you just cant focus ... I think its our way of coping ... nevertheless I feel the need to point out its not all about you, its all about me but given you are a few years older than I, I'll share the spotlight

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  4. Well, we agree on politics and their flunkies, Moannie... I spend exactly zero time listening to them, worrying about them, and watching them on telly. I think we're better off that way.

    That is annoying about the books, though. I get that way sometimes, like right now I am halfway through a book that I really liked initially, but somehow every time I pick it up I just end up reading the same sentence over and over, then I get frustrated and leave it again.

    Here's hoping you find something that brings a smile to your face, be it a book, a radio show, or a view out the window. Hugs!

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  5. I completely understand. My co-worker was losing everything to the IRS earlier this year. She told me that when she was going through this, she actually hated all of us when something good happened to us. She said she thought, "Why not me?" I would have felt the same way. If I had cancer, it wouldn't matter to me what anyone was doing. I would desert the blog world. I would only spend time with my family, and then I don't know if I would be nice to them. I would probably resent that they were healthy, the way my co-worker resented all of us. I still love my co-worker. She is a wonderful person, just like you are. You are just having to deal with what none of us want to deal with, and probably couldn't deal with.

    My dad became mean and bitter during his last month. The last day I saw him it was just him and me. He was demanding, and for some reason, I didn't fight his demands like I usually did. He told me he loved me before I left. Those were the last words I heard him say. Just be sure that you end every visit with your children and your husband with those words, and try not to be too hard on them....because you are their world. I know Saz loves the heck out of you. She wishes she could be there with you. She has told me. Try to find some ray of light, even though it is difficult to do.

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  6. It is so easy to be bombarded by all the artificial stimulants that we are exposed to these days and it sometimes takes a serious issue to help us realize that we are more important than that...and you are.

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  7. Yep....agree about all the silly superfluous stuff.....focus on yourself and doing whatever the heck you like x

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  8. How you have gained a beautiful perspective, Moannie, in your new state...

    Seems like you've got it all right to me.

    Thank you for sharing your wisdom, as you have done for years. Can I reach over to give you a big bear hug? There... You've made me feel much better. Love you.

    Fhi x

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  9. Your life IS all about YOU. Thank you for sharing with us. Hugs!

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  10. As frustrated as you are, you still have so much muchness!!(from your daughter's blog)
    Hugs and kisses from the Far West.

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  11. "Well, as somebody always said: if you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!"

    you, you can sit next to me anytime "and not talk and not think and not be the center of everything all the time".

    I'll draw you something really special if you can tell me the two movies those quotes are derived from.

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  12. and of course your blogging mates care about you. i know you don't care but that's why i'd like to nominate you to moderate any future debates between the evolutionary throwbacks known as presidential candidates. i'd like to see you rip into them for all their ridiculousness.

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  13. Lovely post from a lovely lady. Its strange isn't it how close we can all get to each other via our blogs, despite the fact that we will probably never meet face to face and live the other side of the world. Its strange just how the internet has helped us to completely change our social lives. Good post!

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  14. That's ok. You make it all about you. I think that is how you will get better.

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  15. If I had to choose between TV or radio it would have to be radio.
    I listen in the night if I can't sleep. I like it when people ring in with their views on things and sometimes I will myself to stay awake!
    Keep trekking!
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

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  16. Focus on yourself. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

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  17. W@ell then, I guess you don't give a furry rat's ass about the Super Bowl, eh? It's heresy, but I forgive you :-)

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  18. Much of all of that stuff is pretty meaningless anyway, when you get right down to it. It seems that shifting focus away from all of that, and instead onto what is essential and brings a sense of meaning, is appropriate. Thinking of you and am glad you are writing.

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  19. Hope you are feeling up this week. Let us know how you are doing, sweet lady.

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