We have been trying to sort out car insurance. What usually happens is that the Company we use sends us a reminder well in advance of expiry date, JP reads the new quote, swears a wee bit then writes a cheque and sends it off...job done. This year Saz was down with us and she was horrified that we didn't 'Shop around' for a cheaper quote. The fact of the matter is that, although I am getting to be quite the expert on Bloggy things like linking, cutting and pasting, down-loading pics. etc., the finer points of the Internet are pretty much lost on me, and JP. has abandoned his Mobile phone as too complicated.
Bear with me folks.....
That afternoon Saz sat down at Paco's keyboard and looked through the Compare sites and found a policy that was, not only cheaper than the third party policy we had, but was fully Comprehensive. She spoke to our Insurance Company and they agreed to match it.
She left the next day and JP sent off a cheque and we waited for a cover note.
Then it was Christmas and the world shut down for a week or more, seeing as the New Year insisted on arriving.
He phoned and spoke to...Shiboogamo [sounded like] Cheque had not arrived...three days to go before expiry date.
Hey Ho. 5th January. JP Phoned again...spoke to Dean. 'Yes Sir, your cheque has arrived but unfortunately
the policy had expired and we cannot give you that deal.'
JP.When did it arrive?
Dean. The third Sir.
JP. But I sent the cheque on the 27th of December.
Dean. You must make a complaint to the Post Office.
I did make a complaint and was told that it was not the fault of the Post Office,they only collected the mail, it was delivered by the Royal Mail.
JP. So, how much more is it going to cost me?
Dean. We have your cheque for £144. we need another £44.
He wrote the cheque and I posted it that morning, with signed proof of posting.
Today, the 11th of January we received a policy from the Company that stated we now had Third Party Insurance on our vehicle as well as another envelope containing the information that our policy had expired and did we want to renew it. Plus renewed membership with spanking new cards, of the well known Club with the yellow vans...a membership JP had cancelled because they had demanded £190.
Girding his loins he sat at the kitchen table surrounded by thirty two pages of requests, demands and pamphlets that told us of the joys of membership,of their unfailing devotion to their members and their willingness to be 'there for us'.
I hovered...tea and ciggies to hand.
Are you still there...?
Give him his due, JP kept it together, though at first he did sound a touch righteous. He explained the background, going into great detail, his voice rising a bit as he listened to his own tale of woe.
I made writing gestures...'get the name' I hissed. He wrote Joshz down on one of the many bits of paper.
'Oh,zat's good, you are a sweetie...' I heard him say. 'T'ank you...yes, I'll hold.'
To me he said...'She's really nice...just checking the details.'
'She is a he,' I hissed. He shook his head then turned back to the phone as he/she came back. The voice spoke for some time and I leaned in pulling the phone out so that I could hear. OK, so it wasn't Basso profundo but nor was it falsetto; it was one of those male voices that sound too feminine for a male voice and too masculine for it to be female. It was definitely male. and the name was Josh.
'You are a darling...they should make you the boss.' JP was beaming... 'Thank you'.
I withered, knowing worse was to come...
'You are a lovely lady...'
I'm semaphoring now, arms windmilling, head shaking...'It's a man, dummy.' He finally caught on and went into gaga mode.
'Zat you 'ave managed to work out my bad Englieesh, when I so do not hear or speak too well, and ze phone crackle and pop.'
I'm on my knees with my fist in my mouth and tears spurting from my eyes by the time he hung up.
Not only did he/she fix us up with the original Fully Comprehensive policy we had originally agreed, she arranged for the £190 for membership we did not want, to be refunded.
And so ended a saga that had lasted three weeks.
It pays to be Gaga, and to find a guy/girl named Josh.