Wednesday, 27 April 2011


I decided to re-publish a post that made you laugh me time to shake off the lethargy bought on by radiotherapy.

It happened a few days ago and at first I was so agitated that I said nothing, knowing that if I started on him I might do major damage, and spousal abuse is frowned upon.

Milou has slept under my bed since he was a puppy, when he was less weighty and could jump up to and from the bed easily. He would spend an hour or so snuggled up to me and then, irritated with my restlessness would jump down and crawl under. At first he did not have to duck his head or bend his legs even though there was only eight inches of clearance from the floor to the solid oak frame. But as he has grown older he is obliged to duck and slither underneath and JP, for whom Milou is, well 'special' on a par with the French Rugby team, ripe Camembert, and Napoleon and well ahead of Moi-has become concerned that it is getting too difficult for him.

JP. 'e 'as to do ze limbo to get under zair.
Me. I think it keeps him limber. Limber/limbo-hehe, geddit?
JP. No...I 'ave to do something.

The next day I see him taking some bricks upstairs but it doesn't really register until later. My lovely bed is now on four bricks and I am incandescent.

Me. No, I hate them. Please, take them out of my room.
JP. But you can't see zem.
Me. No, but I caught my foot on one and I hate them. Take them out, now, please.

And this is where I shot myself in the foot.

Me. Anyway, you've made a gigantic booboo because there are four supports underneath that were holding up the centre and are now in mid-air and now I'll break our thirty year old bed that you paid a thousand pounds for and which was supposed to last us till our final breaths.
He went to have a look and came down again with the bricks and I breathed a sigh of relief.

The next day I spent a couple of hours with NOAO son who had taken me to the Supermarket for a big shop. On my return we unpacked and put away the goodies and he made me a cuppa.

JP. I've fixed ze bed.
Me. [wailing] Oh noooooo! What have you done?
JP. [looking very pleased with himself] You won't see any sing. No bricks exposed and Milou will be 'appy.

I rush upstairs and don't know whether to laugh or cry because it's true there is nothing to see because my bloody bed is LEVITATING!


The thing is that now I'm stuck with it. What he did was to crawl underneath and somehow, Lord knows how because the bed is extremely heavy; and  managed to wedge wooden blocks under each of the four middle legs, thus rendering the four outer legs obsolete. I certainly could not remove them. JP refuses to now that Milou can simply walk in and out. NOAO son can hardly walk never mind shimmy under my bed and the only other male candidate is youngest daughter's beau who said that he would not dare undo JP's sterling work.

If you read one day, that an elderly Frenchman, who had led a presumably happy life with his darling wife, is found dead with a Camembert stuffed in his mouth, you will know that I had nothing to do with his demise.

Since writing this the bricks have been removed and Milou now sleeps downstairs.


  1. *rofl*

    Pardon me.
    I go to the other room now. ;-)

  2. That's the first time I've laughed in a week!

  3. oh, how hilarious!!!!!! You make me laugh so hard my tummy hurts! One question....when you sit on the end of the bed, does it wiggle or move at all? I have to say one thing, JP put his mind to work for this solution!!! Ya'll are just tooooo funny!

  4. Oh, my too funny for words ...

  5. Hmmm, actually, it IS funny .......... it's VERY funny!

  6. Hahahahaha! You just turned my mood a complete 180! Thank you thank you thank you thank you.

    And may I recommend jumping heavily on one edge of the bed? It may cause a shift and/or collapse. Just beware...

  7. Oh thanks you, I needed that LOL very much. He is resourceful.

  8. I am so glad you posted pictures! ingenious but infuriating...I could not stand it!! Bet JP was pleased with himself (my mister would have done something equally peculiar) and I guess Milou is will you live with it??

  9. That's brilliant! A levitating bed is just what I need right now to blow away the cobwebs!

    Love the dialogue!

    CJ xx

  10. ours is a farm house and the floors are not level so when I felt my head was lower than my feet I suggested a foam wedge under the mattress. Instead I came home to cement blocks holding up the head of the bed. lets just say there has been a few words on the subject.

  11. My very own elderly Frenchman would never think to attempt a task for the good of another creature. All problems are relative, I suppose.

  12. Oh, that is hilarious! The price you pay for another's love, huh?

  13. This story really made my day! Very funny!!
    I now know a way to vaccum under my bed!

  14. That made me howl!
    I refuse to let my husband see this post in case he gets ideas...

  15. Aw, that is so sweet that he would care so much about Milou being able to get under the bed. You know the levitating bed is an easy fix, just put blocks under the outer legs also. Just so you feel more stable in the bed. This is just one of the sweetest things! Funny story though.

  16. I don't want to be the fly in the ointment (unless it helps your cause, of course)... but if the bed should (for - ahem - whatever reason) move side to side, is it not in danger of falling off of those legs and crashing down on the pup underneath?

  17. That was a brilliant laugh. However, I hope it doesn't come crashing down onto Milou. It doesn't seem that safe.
    maggie X

    Nuts in May

  18. Saw your comment on my blog....I didn't know you get American Idol there! That is so cool! I was so sad when Casey was ousted last night. I thought it should have been Scotty. So proud of you that you are up to date with your terminology! are such a sweet person. Thanks for coming by my place. Come back to see what my 3 year old grand daughter said about the royal wedding. Did you watch?

  19. Oh Lord ! You've got one too . And the awful thing is they mean so well !

  20. There is no way on Earth I could sleep in that bed as it is now. I'd forget it was high up, fall out of bed and break my leg. Or be afraid to turn over lest it wobbled and fell and squished poor Milou.

    You're braver than I...

    (I'm sorry but I DID laugh..) :D

    Kind regards, Kitty

  21. Leviatation is better than le murder. Oui? Happy and peaceful purrs.Tankene Ice Mist

  22. What are men thinking? Wait.. they're not! I've been threatened with the use of duct tape for the loose board on my bed. I had a similar reaction "No, I would hate it." He wondered who would see it other than us? *I* would see it.. and I would hate it! Men!

    I would understand the murder charges. ;)

  23. ohhhhhhh :). Oh. You have GOT to love him!

  24. Well, I'll say this for him, he's nothing if determined! Your bed must look kind of spooky from some angles, hovering above the carpet!

  25. Congratulations, Moannie, on your well-deserved Post of the Week Award!

    For me, you are always a winner.


  26. Yep! He sure did fix it!! Ha!!
    Congrats on your POTW award!! Well deserved!
    Great story

  27. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, oh, this is TOO funny, I think I love your husband (and am soooo glad he isn't mine)..


  28. Congrats on your POTW! This is funny it is painful.

  29. Truly laugh-out-loud, Moannie. And congratulations on your Post Of The Week. Well deserved!

  30. I think i know this guy, actually a few who think on the same plane.

  31. That IS funny! Hilarious actually. And I love your spelling of JP's accent. I could totally hear it! :)

  32. Hilarious when pets get more consideration than their owners!! Thanks for the laugh and congrats on POTW!

  33. Hmm...Zat looks like sumzing I vould do! How hilarious, and thank you for the laugh today!

  34. How grand and how very funny. I'm still smiling over that bed hovering in the air. It seems like something only a single minded worrier of doggie comforts could come up with. Perhaps if he had gotten those bed risers for all the legs. They make them in a discrete shape and you don't trip over them as you do bricks. Oh, this is too funny and so like something my own dear hubs.....

    What kind of cheese do you recommend, then?

  35. when I got to the caption "this isn't funny" I just roared with laughter
    scared the cats and all


    and thanks for visiting my silly hat post :)

  36. that is quite a solution isn't it!