Wednesday 2 February 2011

ALL OR NOTHING.

First published: June12, 2009 6:16 PM


by Moannie
Description: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_zJyifBpiWGQ/SdjCzvGraMI/AAAAAAAAAwA/Mj1sh_P0axI/s400/images%5B15%5D.jpg
A bottle of salad cream is a metaphor for my attitude to life. It has to be Heinz original, none of this low-calorie stuff in a squeezy bottle. Not that I use it anymore; in this house it has to be a dressing of mustard, vinegar, and extra virgin olive oil on our salads, or home made mayonnaise on our hard boiled eggs.

When I was a child, and in the growing season, before expensive imports and intensive farming, Sunday tea consisted of a salad of lettuce, cucumber, spring onions, radishes, tomato and or boiled beetroot. Each plate would contain a pile of these ingredients and a slice of ham or corned beef, cheese or hard boiled eggs. There would be slices of bread and butter [after the war] and a tinned fruit salad [also after the war] with evaporated milk. Mum would carefully pour a blob of salad cream on each plate, about the size of an old penny, not nearly enough to coat the salad or to allow one to dip the corner of each forkful in. So what I would do was to eat the entire plate of food without touching the salad cream, leaving just one piece of tomato, then, with mouth watering in anticipation, spread the entire blob onto the tomato and eat it. Harry would glare at me, but there was nothing he could attack me for, I had eaten all my salad and if I wanted to eat it dry and save the cream for the final bite, even he kept quiet. My brothers jeered and mother looked scared, as she always did when she thought Harry was angry. One day I did some calculations, asking mum how long she thought the bottle would last... ‘About a month of Sundays’ she answered. Tony was still a baby so that left four of us and the bottle was three quarters full. ‘Could I have my share all in one go?’ I asked; Harry must have been elsewhere or I would not have dared. She looked scared again but had the grace to ask ‘Why?’
‘Well, the way we do it now there is not enough to even taste it properly.’
She thought about it then said ‘No.’ and that was that.

In the Orphanage we would be served thin porridge with a sprinkling of brown sugar. When it was a newly opened bag and the sugar dry the small spoonful would settle and quickly melt like snow on a wet road and it was never enough to sweeten the gruel that cook always over salted. But, once the bag was opened, it quickly hardened and had to be smashed with a rolling pin before being shunted into a bowl for the sister to dole out. If I was in luck I would have a lump of the brown sweet delight, sitting in the middle of my plate like a virgin island surround by a grey sea. Taking up my spoon I would eat the salty gruel as quickly as I could, fighting down the nausea that haunted my daily life, my eyes fixed on the island of delight, determined to eat the ocean before the land melted away. At last I would spoon the sugar and close my mouth and eyes as its delicious sweetness righted my stomach and prickled my eyes with tears of happiness.

I love to anticipate delights. I used to buy my clothes on the “layaway plan”. There was a coat I coveted in a shop in Ramsgate where I was nursing in the fifties. It was a ‘shortie’ and it was yellow and cost £5, a lot of money when you consider my monthly salary was £7. The shopkeeper took the coat out of the window and put my name on it. It took me five months to pay for it at half a crown a week. Had there been such a thing as a credit card I would have taken it away that day, worn it and discarded it well before the five months were up.

I will not buy cheap steak, except for a casserole. We don’t eat it very often but when we do it is a joint of the best sirloin, T-bone steak for a BBQ or fillet for frying. Why buy off cuts of fish unless it is for a pie, or farmed Salmon that is pale pink and wormy from eating its own excrement. Alaskan wild Salmon for us or it is fish fingers.

And I love the same way, unconditionally and wholly. I can’t be doing with half measures. I prefer to be in close physical contact with my children, but if that cannot be then I know that when we are together we will reiterate, shore up, and bask in touch and hugs and smiles and when they go I hope that they take that warmth with them that they felt as babes, in my arms and next to my heart

40 comments:

  1. Great post. My late husband was raised in foster homes since he was 2 and always had stories like this where he was given 1/2 and the parents real kids got everything. He grew up to be the most generous man I ever knew.

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  2. The stories of your younger days are so touching.

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  3. After scrimping in youth you deserve the best. I didn't scrimp but like to buy the best food. Otherwise, why bother. And one should never scrimp when it comes to Love.

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  4. Moannie, that was an absolutely beautiful and moving post. Thank you for sharing your inspiration today.

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  5. your are an absolute sweetie Mum!!!
    luv ya sara xxx

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  6. Like your favorite salad cream, you are an Original, Moannie.

    I don't know how I missed this post when it first appeared; thanks for running it again. It reminded me to treasure the sweet bits of my life.

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  7. The philosophy is there, both in the anticipation of the real thing, and the appreciation of the same. Yes, your eating habits say a lot about you.

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  8. just what i needed on a day when i could be tempted to slip into complacency!

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  9. Such a wonderful post. I love the salad cream story.. I love them all.

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  10. You're making me hungry!

    And I agree about only buying the best foods. Food (and beverages, including wine) is not a place to skimp. Buy a cheap car, it will get you there just as well as an expensive one, but don't buy cheap meat.

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  11. Lovely post as usual.
    Great visual image of brown sugar in a bed of gruel!
    My mom taught me to always have a good bed and a good pair of shoes, saying 'if you're not in one you're in the other...'

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  12. What a wonderful post. Your salads reminded me of my own youth. We always had them with fruit salad for afters on a Sunday.
    I also remember saving for a coat which was £12 and I think it did us good to get things this way rather than by credit.
    I still tend to save up for things I really want. Thats the way we did things then.
    You have a wonderful way of writing. Heinz salad cream was a part of my life, though fortunately it wasn't just a dab on the side of a plate. We were allowed to tip some out ourselves. I can remember a man visitor who tipped the SC up too vigorously and half the bottle came out, much to his embarrassment.
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

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  13. I love this! It reminds me of spending summers with my grandmother, who was from Scotland. She was someone who "saved" for non-essentials, like Royal Doulton figurines. I was thrilled to inherit them, and add to the collections (by 'saving' for them, of course!)

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  14. Moannie, I very much love the ending of your post. For the last few years I have been battling cancer and until the end of 2009 lived far away from my family. When you said "I know that when we are together we will reiterate, shore up, and bask in touch and hugs and smiles and when they go I hope that they take that warmth with them that they felt as babes, in my arms and next to my heart" It took my thought back to a time where my family wasn't close and how even when far away my mother knew had to give unconditional love that seemed to pass through the miles with ease.
    Thank you for reminding me how amazing my Mother really is.

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  15. This was beautiful. It tugged at my heart strings. Thank you for sharing.

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  16. I've read this before, and I may have said the same then. If not, I should have.

    You have the exact right attitude towards life. Enjoy it and don't get cheap about the good stuff.

    Aside from that, you make the smallest treat - the salad cream, the sugar - seem like a wonderful gift from God (which it is, by way of Heinz or whomever, but I digress.) That, too, is the best attitude to have. You find happiness in much, and I like to think I have the same capacity. I am proud of it, as you should also be.

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  17. I love your simile...."the small spoonful would settle and quickly melt like snow on a wet road"...wow...do you know how quickly that put a picture of it in my mind....and I knew exactly what you were talking about. Love it! You really have a wonderful way of putting things.

    I am a relative newcomer to you blog...only about a month....so tell me...why were you in an orphanage? What happened to your mom and that awful Harry? Please tell....or if you have previously, tell me where to read about it.

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  18. This was a beautiful post. You really brought tears to my eyes with your last paragraph. I lost my daughter in May. I treasure the photos where she has her arm draped around my shoulder. I remember her coming up to me and doing that the last time I saw her. Now, those hugs are just held very deeply in my heart.

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  19. Absolutely loved this post! I have a habit of buying whatever is on sale. I still have 4 beautiful T-bone steaks I got on discount that I'd never have paid for at the full price. However, it makes pulling a meal together a challenge when you only have sale stuff to cook from. There was a week that we had potatoes at every meal. I can barely look at a spud now.
    PS. You are adorable.

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  20. Coming from California what exactly is salad cream? You are such a lyrical writer. Thanks. Tankene

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  21. Oh, yuck - that description of farmed salmon! Well now I know why.

    My husband tells stories of his mother dividing food between her two sons and putting only a little bite on her own plate. She'd say she wasn't hungry. The sacrifices a mother had to make cause us to appreciate her that much more.

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  22. Awwww ... ! I love that last part!!

    I remember Sunday tea at our house when I was very young. There would be bread and butter with cheese and celery (with salt to dip it into) or golden syrup or Marmite to spread on our bread. Occasionally there would be winkles to eat with a pin, and there would always be some kind of cake. I remember eating fairy cakes spread with Marmite to the disgust of everybody except me! LOL!

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  23. Oh Moannie, were you really in an Orphanage! It sounds terrible. Like Oliver Twist.

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  24. You summed this up perfectly. Sigh....

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  25. Oh Moannie, that horrid specter Harry haunting the memories you make so wonderful to read despite him.

    You're so good at that. Besting him and his place in your life by finding joy anyway and sharing it.

    I don't know. I don't always save the best for last, but sometimes I do. I'd rather wait and slowly fill a room with furniture than settle for things I don't like. An empty room is preferable to seeing things in my home that don't please me. I've always been good about saving money for big things.

    But instant gratification sometimes works for me too.

    I do think there is a lot of wisdom in your approach and a lot of pleasure too. Sometimes I lack the patience though :-)

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  26. you may laugh but i decided when i was young that i'd never skimp on the brand of tissues because i hated how the cheap ones shredded my skin. i had bad allergies and went through a LOT of tissues in my childhood. my nose was always raw. and for 22 years i've kept my word. only the plush ones for my nose!

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  27. smiles. wonderfully said...congrats on your potw

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  28. All or Nothing - perfect title for this post.

    Silly me - I'm from the states, and I always thought the UK afternoon tea was...tea. Just tea. Thanks for the enlightenment.

    Congratulations on your POTW!

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  29. Very nice post. Times of want are darned helpful in teaching us to appreciate the little things. I often find myself feeling sorry for those who have never lacked food, shelter or material things.

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  30. I'm here from Hilary's, and I can see why she honoured this post.

    The part about layaway and anticipation was good in these instant gratification, credit card days. Oddly enough, I begin to find myself saving for things that I want even if they do go on the card at purchase time. I think that's a good thing.

    The AC is On

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  31. Beautiful post - and I agree with you. If you're going to have steak, make it a good one! If you're going to love, love all the way. Congrats on the POTW - well deserved!

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  32. A wonderful, touching story. Congrats on POTW

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  33. Beautiful. I love your stories Moannie!

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  34. I really love this post. Thank you for making me think about life and the good fortune that has been bestowed on all of us.

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  36. Hi Moannie,
    My name is Marilyn Hutt and I lived at St Edith's from 1951 to 1955. I have really enjoyed reading your blogs, it brings back a lot of memories from my childhood.

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