Tomorrow (Monday) I will have the biopsy which will decide my fate.
but first this side bar...
it is Sunday. I was admitted Tuesday and have been pricked and bled, rayed and scanned and in those few days I have gone from nasty cough to nasty shadow to needing a stent to open the blood supply to some vital organs.
(Mum writes this as if it were a nothing- it was in fact critical- some perspective please Mum. btw I do have her permission to interject at will)
And I have been so sleep deprived that I had begun to believe I was invisible! Thanks in part to the steroid high.
With decision day looming NOAOSon decided that if I couldn't sleep and he couldn't either, he would come and sit with me until I slept. A lovely idea.
However we did rather misbehave.
Complaints were apparently made and we were stonily asked to please keep the noise down. I was sorry and docile but NOAOSon said that we only kept our noise to the level of the ward - why was there for example a bell continuously ringng, machines buzzing, a nebulizer which had not been turned off and a trauma inpatient fretfully looking for his wife?
Staff Nurse left to consult the Sister and returned with the offer of a private sideroom, complete with en-suite and cable telly. Bizarre or what!
I moved in with suitable gratitude thinking of the silence - the absolute bliss of silence - I would sleep at last - for the first time in 5 days I might get more than 3 hours.
well NOAOSon left at 12.40am and it is now 2.35am. the silence is so complete that my wheeze is deafening and frightening - a spider is playing Cirque de Soleil acrobatics above my head and I thin there is a ghost in the corridor.
I hope tomorrows news will get me home.
Milou is lost.
and JP is getting too settled with half the village looking after him.
(Mum has asked me to tell you, that she is so grateful and overwhelmed by your support, love and words of kindness in the last week. I am feeding her your comments and emails. She probably will not be writing here herself for now, she prefers to give me her words to post on her behalf. But she has every word you send in her heart, filling her with strength and courage. Mum thanks you and I and my siblings thank you. Saz)