I shall ruminate on the view from this end of life. It is a vast panorama of places, people and events that have coloured my full rich life, and hopefully, there is still time for a few more lovely surprises.
Well the picture clearly shows someone having chemo. Does that mean its treatable..... or am I getting it wholly wrong and its not cancer at all? Hoping it is the second option but the first is doable if it means you'll get better. Not very good at cryptic things!
Hoping for the very best for you whatever that means. Maggie X
Maggie darling, have I been too cryptic? I've been trying not to make it about the Feckin C when of course it is...I have incurable lung cancer...chemo might give me more time and that is all I ask...the time to be with my kids a bit longer and, and, and to say that at least I fought back.
Hence the smile. The decision could have been, no chance....palliative care, now go away and be a good patient.
I so, so admire you and just wanted to tell you that. There are a host of others out here who feel the same. If we lived next door, we'd be doing something (bringing soup or coming to straighten up for you) to let you know you are cared about and cared for. If we lived next door, you wouldn't have room in the house to hold us all. So, please just keep that in mind, as we will keep you. Fight the fecking bastard because that's important - but so is taking the time to hear someone say We Care.
Moannie, I wish you a good, long strong fight. You're a winner in so many ways. If anyone can come out on top of this fight it's you. You have great winners like Maggie May to inspire you, and your beautiful family and friends to keep you strong. I can't express just how much I admire your gumption and grace. Love and hugs to you. Go in there fighting!
Thank you so much ol Doc. I have been sucking up all these lovely comments without a backward taverymuch. I find that the Steroids give me such a high that most of the day I seem to be floating on a strangely, highly articulate brain cloud [not me at all] I think something and write it down, hardly ever look back to see if what I've written makes sense...rather like now...started a sentence and can't finish it. So thank you so very much...Doc...you can bet that I am going to give it HELL. XXXX
Thank you too Hilary....how remiss of me to have been clawing in all these wonderful gouts of love without responding. I'm up and at it....people coming at me from all angles....and I've agreed to a trial. XXXXXX
Well, now you have some information you can move forward with Moannie....shoulders back and head high.....sending you all the best of everything...up and at'em missy! xx
I am so sorry to get the news. Your post was cryptic but just read your reply to Maggie. What a shock. These things tend to happen to the nicest people unfortunately, my dear wife, Maggie, Harry her husband, lots of other friends . . . . . and now you. I do believe in miracles and I will pray. Love ~ Eddie x
cancer sucks. however, you are a strong feisty broad, il've no doubt you can give it quite the fight ... I repeat what I've said before get mad at it, channel that anger into your fight and who knows you might beat the odds and scare it into remission. I'm laying odds you can and will ..
I just came back because I read what your daughter had to say on the Alice Blog. I am sorry that it is not curable. Mine also is not curable.Nor Harry's. Extra time with treatment is the most hopeful thing and of course, miracles do still happen. New drugs are becoming available all the time and this year Harry has 2 more that have just come into the NHS this very year. I know of several people who were not given much time & then went on for years. Everyone is individual & I'm sure a feisty attitude helps..
I have been trying to educate people in their response to cancer. The first thing I did was to say the dreaded word..... often..... to others and to myself. Some people are afraid of it and don't know how to respond and its about time that they understood that it isn't something to talk about behind closed doors. We are the same people only we know we have cancer. We need friends and acquaintances to feel comfortable with us and carry on the same as before they knew what was wrong with us. The majority are marvellous but there are still some people who need help with their understanding. I usually crack a joke about it & that loosens up an awkward attitude. That is why I write about my cancer a lot. I keep a journal too and a cancer book with details of meds & treatment in it. I keep one for Harry too. At first I felt shock & unbelief, then anger and desperation. It takes a long time to come to terms with it sometimes. I try to live in the here & now. That is the best way of coping. Enjoy what you can on this day and then tomorrow is a new day. Sorry for the sermon but I hope that some of it helped a little. Maggie X
I thought we had known since the 8th that it was cancer....you were in the cancer ward.
Are they going to treat you with just chemo, or with radiology also? Have you already begun your treatments? Or have you just said you would take the treatments? When you say it is incurable, do you mean it has metastasized?
Followers of The View from This End may know me as NOAOS in my Mother’s blogs. The last few weeks have been a terrible shock to us all and has led me to post a comment myself for the first time.
As recent events have unfolded and being the nearest in location of the three siblings, we have been able to spend precious time together in very distressing circumstances. Her courage, fighting spirit, humour and sheer determination to fight this has been truly moving and inspiring.
In spite of the reality of her plight she has shown such dignity and resilience. Her sheer appetite for life, for another hour, for another day is quite overwhelming.
Never once, over the last four weeks, has she shown any self pity, expressed regrets or complained. Instead she has focused on her family, her extended family (you) and summoning every last ounce of energy to fight for her life.
I would like to thank you all for your kind words of support, love and encouragement. I know it is a great source of energy and means a huge amount to her and to our family.
JMF/NOAOS, your comment moved me to tears. Your mum is a true gem with an inspiring spirit. Big hugs to your wonderful mother and to the rest of your family.
if you were ever in any doubt as to whether you should continue blogging specifically about this fight you have on your hands...I think you have the answer here ..... and in the comment from JMF...
It reminded me about how I felt about Nana, I have tried to find the post I wrote about her lust (?) for life, how she never complained about her plight, bound in her wheelchair, trapped inside her own body paralysed but for her head, eyes and mouth...
I'm sure we all have a new found bucket load of respect for her, as we have an endless jaw dropping awe for your bravery and seemingly fearless stance against this cancer...
Blog when, how, if you want, as you want or NOT....
they will come...and even if they don't....it must be first and foremost for YOU
if it makes YOU feel better having a rant, a laugh and a tear here...every word is a breath and every breath is a moment to shout about
Been away from blogland for a bit so I'd missed this. I'm so sorry about your diagnosis, but it is good news that you can fight on, and who knows what may happen? Keep fighting!
That's wonderful news, so happy for you my friend. We've been praying for you. A new photo id for me means I've started a new blog (a second one) so maybe I've lost my mind... keeping you in our prayers at Douglas Mill Church hugs Sandi
Hi Moanie, it's been sometime that I have been following your blog and it's a refreshing point of view always. I so admire you for the courage and optimism that seems to be lacking un my own life with marriage problems and host of other issues. It was saddening to learn about your health...but then i suppose that's how life is...my only wish at this phase is to perhaps be able to think as clearly as you do and retain the strength which I seem to loose everyday.
I found this blog at a difficult time, it seems. I've been following quietly for a while, and just decided to go public with my fandom. But I seem to have arrived to a crisis. I'm also puzzled about the cartoon, but I will watch and listen with concern ... a new "friend" standing at the end of the bed.
Moannie, if anyone has a spirit strong and brassy enough to give it a good fight it's you. And this I know only through your writing...which is the essence of a person, I think. And their soul. And you give that to each and every one of us. I'm even more inspired by you. I send you plenty of fighting words and the best blessings I have to offer. Thinking of you in Montreal, Canada. Tanya xox
Moannie, I am in the middle of my very own crisis but I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and I am glad that the chemo will give you more time, as time is very precious.
My thoughts are with you all at this very poignant moment in your story so far. x
Hi Moannie, I want you to know that we will definitely pray for your healing! Jesus raised Lazarus from dead, so treating your "incurable lung cancer" is a child's play for God, nothing is impossible with our God! Sending you hugs from India. Take care. God bless you!
hi Moannie, i like that you've decided to make that dirty bastard earn his wages. a pair of dueces has beat many a flush when played right. I'm more the denial and surrender type, providing the gin don't run out. i wouldn't bet against ya and with family and such friends, well, hell-you almost have an army, and i'm damn proud to stand in the ranks. love rick
Great new Moannie - I'm assuming from the smiley pic that it is good news? x
ReplyDeleteWell the picture clearly shows someone having chemo. Does that mean its treatable..... or am I getting it wholly wrong and its not cancer at all?
ReplyDeleteHoping it is the second option but the first is doable if it means you'll get better.
Not very good at cryptic things!
Hoping for the very best for you whatever that means.
Maggie X
Nuts in May
Maggie darling, have I been too cryptic? I've been trying not to make it about the Feckin C when of course it is...I have incurable lung cancer...chemo might give me more time and that is all I ask...the time to be with my kids a bit longer and, and, and to say that at least I fought back.
ReplyDeleteHence the smile. The decision could have been, no chance....palliative care, now go away and be a good patient.
I so, so admire you and just wanted to tell you that. There are a host of others out here who feel the same. If we lived next door, we'd be doing something (bringing soup or coming to straighten up for you) to let you know you are cared about and cared for. If we lived next door, you wouldn't have room in the house to hold us all. So, please just keep that in mind, as we will keep you. Fight the fecking bastard because that's important - but so is taking the time to hear someone say We Care.
ReplyDeleteMoannie, I wish you a good, long strong fight. You're a winner in so many ways. If anyone can come out on top of this fight it's you. You have great winners like Maggie May to inspire you, and your beautiful family and friends to keep you strong. I can't express just how much I admire your gumption and grace. Love and hugs to you. Go in there fighting!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much ol Doc. I have been sucking up all these lovely comments without a backward taverymuch. I find that the Steroids give me such a high that most of the day I seem to be floating on a strangely, highly articulate brain cloud [not me at all] I think something and write it down, hardly ever look back to see if what I've written makes sense...rather like now...started a sentence and can't finish it.
ReplyDeleteSo thank you so very much...Doc...you can bet that I am going to give it HELL. XXXX
Thank you too Hilary....how remiss of me to have been clawing in all these wonderful gouts of love without responding. I'm up and at it....people coming at me from all angles....and I've agreed to a trial. XXXXXX
ReplyDeleteWell, now you have some information you can move forward with Moannie....shoulders back and head high.....sending you all the best of everything...up and at'em missy! xx
ReplyDeleteI wish I had some magic words to say. you are a grand dame.
ReplyDeleteFeeling a little crass now for jumping in so quickly with assumptions.
ReplyDeleteBut, having said that, I can only reiterate what others have said.
Your spirit and strength shine through at all times.
You are a joy and an inspiration Moannie x
I am so sorry to get the news. Your post was cryptic but just read your reply to Maggie. What a shock. These things tend to happen to the nicest people unfortunately, my dear wife, Maggie, Harry her husband, lots of other friends . . . . . and now you. I do believe in miracles and I will pray. Love ~ Eddie x
ReplyDeletecancer sucks. however, you are a strong feisty broad, il've no doubt you can give it quite the fight ... I repeat what I've said before get mad at it, channel that anger into your fight and who knows you might beat the odds and scare it into remission. I'm laying odds you can and will ..
ReplyDeleteI just came back because I read what your daughter had to say on the Alice Blog.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that it is not curable. Mine also is not curable.Nor Harry's. Extra time with treatment is the most hopeful thing and of course, miracles do still happen. New drugs are becoming available all the time and this year Harry has 2 more that have just come into the NHS this very year.
I know of several people who were not given much time & then went on for years. Everyone is individual & I'm sure a feisty attitude helps..
I have been trying to educate people in their response to cancer. The first thing I did was to say the dreaded word..... often..... to others and to myself.
Some people are afraid of it and don't know how to respond and its about time that they understood that it isn't something to talk about behind closed doors. We are the same people only we know we have cancer. We need friends and acquaintances to feel comfortable with us and carry on the same as before they knew what was wrong with us.
The majority are marvellous but there are still some people who need help with their understanding. I usually crack a joke about it & that loosens up an awkward attitude.
That is why I write about my cancer a lot. I keep a journal too and a cancer book with details of meds & treatment in it. I keep one for Harry too.
At first I felt shock & unbelief, then anger and desperation. It takes a long time to come to terms with it sometimes. I try to live in the here & now. That is the best way of coping. Enjoy what you can on this day and then tomorrow is a new day.
Sorry for the sermon but I hope that some of it helped a little.
Maggie X
Nuts in May
Good! As you know, you're in my thoughts. No need to say any more than that here.
ReplyDeleteI thought we had known since the 8th that it was cancer....you were in the cancer ward.
ReplyDeleteAre they going to treat you with just chemo, or with radiology also? Have you already begun your treatments? Or have you just said you would take the treatments? When you say it is incurable, do you mean it has metastasized?
Big hug.
Followers of The View from This End may know me as NOAOS in my Mother’s blogs. The last few weeks have been a terrible shock to us all and has led me to post a comment myself for the first time.
ReplyDeleteAs recent events have unfolded and being the nearest in location of the three siblings, we have been able to spend precious time together in very distressing circumstances. Her courage, fighting spirit, humour and sheer determination to fight this has been truly moving and inspiring.
In spite of the reality of her plight she has shown such dignity and resilience. Her sheer appetite for life, for another hour, for another day is quite overwhelming.
Never once, over the last four weeks, has she shown any self pity, expressed regrets or complained. Instead she has focused on her family, her extended family (you) and summoning every last ounce of energy to fight for her life.
I would like to thank you all for your kind words of support, love and encouragement. I know it is a great source of energy and means a huge amount to her and to our family.
Mum, I love you.
JMF/NOAOS, your comment moved me to tears. Your mum is a true gem with an inspiring spirit. Big hugs to your wonderful mother and to the rest of your family.
ReplyDeleteAm I blessed?
ReplyDeleteYes, you are. Sending large hugs from Long Island.
ReplyDeleteMum.....
ReplyDeleteif you were ever in any doubt as to whether you should continue blogging specifically about this fight you have on your hands...I think you have the answer here ..... and in the comment from JMF...
It reminded me about how I felt about Nana, I have tried to find the post I wrote about her lust (?) for life, how she never complained about her plight, bound in her wheelchair, trapped inside her own body paralysed but for her head, eyes and mouth...
I'm sure we all have a new found bucket load of respect for her, as we have an endless jaw dropping awe for your bravery and seemingly fearless stance against this cancer...
Blog when, how, if you want, as you want or NOT....
they will come...and even if they don't....it must be first and foremost for YOU
if it makes YOU feel better having a rant, a laugh and a tear here...every word is a breath and every breath is a moment to shout about
luv u
sazzie xx
Been away from blogland for a bit so I'd missed this. I'm so sorry about your diagnosis, but it is good news that you can fight on, and who knows what may happen? Keep fighting!
ReplyDeleteThat's wonderful news, so happy for you my friend. We've been praying for you.
ReplyDeleteA new photo id for me means I've started a new blog (a second one) so maybe I've lost my mind...
keeping you in our prayers at Douglas Mill Church
hugs
Sandi
Hi Moanie, it's been sometime that I have been following your blog and it's a refreshing point of view always. I so admire you for the courage and optimism that seems to be lacking un my own life with marriage problems and host of other issues. It was saddening to learn about your health...but then i suppose that's how life is...my only wish at this phase is to perhaps be able to think as clearly as you do and retain the strength which I seem to loose everyday.
ReplyDeleteI found this blog at a difficult time, it seems. I've been following quietly for a while, and just decided to go public with my fandom. But I seem to have arrived to a crisis. I'm also puzzled about the cartoon, but I will watch and listen with concern ... a new "friend" standing at the end of the bed.
ReplyDeleteMoannie, if anyone has a spirit strong and brassy enough to give it a good fight it's you. And this I know only through your writing...which is the essence of a person, I think. And their soul. And you give that to each and every one of us. I'm even more inspired by you. I send you plenty of fighting words and the best blessings I have to offer. Thinking of you in Montreal, Canada. Tanya xox
ReplyDeleteMoannie, I am in the middle of my very own crisis but I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and I am glad that the chemo will give you more time, as time is very precious.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts are with you all at this very poignant moment in your story so far. x
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Moannie,
ReplyDeleteI want you to know that we will definitely pray for your healing! Jesus raised Lazarus from dead, so treating your "incurable lung cancer" is a child's play for God, nothing is impossible with our God!
Sending you hugs from India.
Take care. God bless you!
hi Moannie, i like that you've decided to make that dirty bastard earn his wages. a pair of dueces has beat many a flush when played right.
ReplyDeleteI'm more the denial and surrender type, providing the gin don't run out.
i wouldn't bet against ya and with family and such friends, well, hell-you almost have an army, and i'm damn proud to stand in the ranks.
love
rick
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ReplyDelete