Tuesday, 22 November 2011


Been a bit hectic the past few days...and three full days of tests and interviews to come and of course the start of my fight back on Friday so it is fun for me to go back a little bit and tell you about the few hours I spent last Thursday before the big decision; with NOAOS and my darling daughter in law whom I shall call the PLP [perfect little package] and their...er dog, Harry.

He decided to kidnap  me, did NOAOS...bit foolhardy really, as he had not fully considered the logistics of the operation, but kidnap me he did.  Didn't pack a bag...just me a bit fed up with, well being not me...Oxygen tank was stowed in the boot [next to the petrol tank,] I know..what were we thinking?] We did take my meds, but not new sleeping tab. and that set the scene for the rest of  the adventure.. a sort of  'suck it and see' few hours.

Not only did he, I, not consider the implications, he didn't confer with the PLP either, nor could he get to her by Mobi or landmine as it was the very day she had interviews scheduled and would not be home till late.

Ni modo. I am installed, gas tank to hand...and we both look a little askance. He dials the PLP shakes the machine...makes me coffee. And as it is the worst coffee I have ever tasted we get over the hump of [what to do with mum now I've kidnapped her] by dissecting and diagnosing the various methods and machines and cup thickness's before deciding I'll have instant.

I am to have their bed...it is a lovely big comfortable bed but it is their bed. I don't argue. As I am actually in my nightshirt, cunningly disguised as a mini skirt by the sweater I pulled over it...there is little to remove and once in bed I relax. We do what we do best he and I, talk...a lot...about just everything.

Eventually the PLP comes home and, seeing  me there does not turn a hair but hugs me home and makes supper.

And so to bed...I take two Co-codomols in lieu of my sleeping tablet but they don't work; sleep has eluded me most nights and I wait for the dawn before nodding off for an hour or so... viscous circle really, I don't sleep ergo I won't sleep and then I don't. This did not mean that I spent the night alone...no no I spent the night whispering and giggling and re-counting and promising, making memories for him to keep and me to guard. The PLP slept well and was up and out of the house by seven. NOAOS and I were drunk on our sleep deprivation.

After a great cup of coffee and nice crispy toast we both collapsed on the sofa's and I believe nodded off for the fraction of a minute till I sparked up:

'Do you know what I would like to do...really like to do?'
'ER, No..but .within reason maman, or even not, as that would be a challenge.'
'I should like to go to TkMaxx, today, this morning, now.'
'It is only 7.20 Ma...the Mall is closed.'
'Okay...we'll wait.' But fired up now as my meds are kicking in.' I know...let's take Harry for a walk.'

I haven't mentioned Harry because, as a rather special and unusual dog he really deserves his own post but I'm a bit greedy and these are mine so  he has to share. He is a Yorkie. not one of those fluffy tiny toy York shires which curl up quietly in your pocket and everyone goes gaga, but one of the longer legged variety which can, at any given moment look like a cheeky cartoon with one ear and paw up and the next like a Griffon.
Any hoo...Harry sleeps under the duvet and he did, it was so comforting and we did alright until NOAOS crept up to see if I had slept and woke Harry up who rightly saw him off.

It turned out to be a very short walk...twenty yards tops, before we had to come back.

'I  Wonder if they have wheelchairs.?' I think it was I who said those words and heard them come back to me...wheelchair...wheelchair!
No sooner said than done and NOAOS is on the net enquiring. Mall opens at nine...chair can be hired from Motobility..
We throw ourselves back on our sofa's and wait.

Nine twenty and I am ensconced in my smart wheelchair. I look rather like an ancient teenager in my leggings faux mini skirt, zippered top and, if NOAOS had his way, a beanie hat. We prowl through the doors of my favourite shop and I drive forward, catching at cashmere...snatching at silks, fondling footwear, and nuzzling knitting. We do well in TK...but it isn't enough. I am so revelling in this unexpected adventure that I want more...so it is six nighties in Peacocks and Coffee and Croissants at Costa and then, well, a little sense prevails and we make our way back home, [with the Oxygen tank nestling between my legs: what a way to go!] to the sense and sensibilities of what is painfully obvious but which we managed to forget for 14 hours.

I have plans though...one day when I'm feeling OK, and everyone is down here..we are all going to the Mall and we are going to TKMaxximama till we're done.


  1. Shopping is always good for whatever ails you! I'm so glad you are not too proud to use a wheelchair when you need one. My dad was too proud to use his walker....and that was a huge mistake. You just keep going and don't let the cancer get you down.

    And isn't it wonderful to have kids that love you so much???!!!

  2. Brilliant ... retail therapy is the best medicine next to snuggling with a pup in someone else's bed. Hugs.

  3. That sounded like the best therapy ever.
    You have a really good son and I think that he was marvellous & PLP to give up their bed for you.
    Hoping you will feast on the memory of that day all week. Harry the dog sounds very like a Yorkie that my parents had. Not the tiny type but more like a miniature sheepdog without so much fur.
    Hoping your week goes well & that you enjoy those nighties!
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

  4. Go Moannie! I'll bet TK Maxx (also my favourite shop) didn't know what had hit them!

    Take care, much love (and please be careful with that oxygen flask! Fhi xxx

  5. I can just imagine you in there (if it's the store that I think it might be, as I know that particular store)looking at all the loveliness and knick knacks and shiny things....I might be there on Friday! Hugs xx

  6. Shopping is the perfect pick me up right up to the point when you want a lie me down...you are a treasure as I'm sure your family knows...and we are all pushing that chair with all our might so you get to more than Maxx's...

  7. It's clear to me when I feel your zest in every word you write, that your "fight back" does not begin of Friday. It has already long begun and is a beautiful, Moannie-style work in progress.

  8. I hear it shouted from the rooftops, retail therapy, retail therapy .....
    Much love to you and yours,

  9. Going shopping sounds like much better medicine than going to a doctor. Keep up this good attitude.

  10. RETAIL THERAPY!! Oh yes you can't beat it, a girl after my own heart - it works wonders even if you are only browsing!!! Keep it up xx

  11. glad noaos and plp are doing their best to make you comfortable and your pluck is undimmed. you'll have to model whatever you purchase ;)

  12. you shoulda pilfered somethin, Moannie-whatre they gonna do? toss your arse into jail? no, that would be bad publicity. it's like lightin a fag as soon as the plane is airborne, what're they gonna do? throw ya off?
    i love a good kidnappin story and anything that makes doctors mad.
    way to go