Saturday 5 November 2011

And so...

The x-ray led the way to a scan that showed it clearly. A nasty stranger had invaded me! Invited.

Next step - identify.We thought in our grasping ignorance.

Our particular god is Greek. She is guarded and protected by her acolytes, who poke, prod and probe her young clean and clear of bug or germ or age or fear! They smile, nod and pass through words back to the messenger, who take down every word on her Apple-mac.
                                        They tell me nothing.
                                                     But Toni does.

I've swollen face, neck and throat - I look like my mother times 3. A Shrek monster, pale green and grey hair, thin and lifeless, My arms and hands stiff with oedema, bear testimony to fruitless searches for veins. I blame the massive dose of steroids - my friend now because it soothes the beast that clings with dirty nails to my tender bronchi and lung tissue. Even as it gives me huge appetite (I see beauty all around me) and keeps me awake all night. But it was the beast blocking the major artery, Toni tells me; so the biopsy must wait - a blow. For the beast is quick to grow, aggressive and greedy.

So I have a stent inserted by a team of demi gods drilled to perfection.

I trained in '55 which is to 2011 as the invention of the wheel is to mapping of the human genome.

I watch as a catheter is inserted into the artery in my thigh and passing, painlessly up to a major cloud of white that's blocking and compressing the dark artery- deep in my chest. 

The surgeon patiently, kindly answers my questions and seems to be as enthralled as I at the magic he performs when the stent opens and blood gushes through - he takes my hand and asks,

'Can you feel any difference?'

and I think that I must say something encouraging - a small white lie would surely be allowed! I touch my face and start to say,

'It feels less taut, stretched...!'

and then I say, in wonder, 'It is!' -  the tenderness has gone, the skin is softer, I swear.

By the time NOAOSon and Lita Mona appear, they are shocked and delighted that I am a deal less scary and Sara, who arrives later - a wonderful surprise - appears to have been drawn down here on false pretences.

And as I am drawn back into the world by my push me/ pull me duo of porters, I ride high on my bed delighted to fighting back.

      The first fecking blow.
                           Take that!

Goodnight my loves.

Moannie x


  1. Oh, this is great news!!! So you had a stent put in to open up a closed artery???!!! My dad had that done 3 different times and lived through them all, then climbed trees and cut limbs out of those trees for years afterward!!! I am so glad to hear this news. I was so afraid you had cancer. And you feel better!!!!!!

    Good night Moannie! Sweet dreams. Hurry and get well.

  2. I was going to begin this comment with the words "Dear Moannie" but you are so much more than that - you truly are our "beloved Moannie" to all and sundry who have read your blog, admired your spirit and laughed along with you.

    I speak for your legion of fans (and truly they are the International Foreign Legion) when I say we want you to conquer the beast.

    I know what the real reason is, Moannie. Oh, ye shameless hussy who wouldst fake a medical condition just to get a good-looking doctor to gaze into thine eyes.

    What a stunt, I mean, stent.

    Conquer, Moannie. Conquer.

    You are in our prayers, all round the world. And you know I mean that from the very bottom of my heart.

    David, on behalf of your global fan network

  3. So good to hear! Get strong and enjoy the attention. You are loved.

  4. I'm glad you're feeling better. Get stronger.. be feisty. And fight that beast.

    Hugs and Love to you.

  5. After a truly horrible day I was almost too scared to click on your post. But reading your story brought tears of relief and a great surge of joy.

    Today isn't such a bad day after all :)

  6. I love posts with good endings. So sorry for the trauma, but you grabbed it as a good writing opportunity. These things just sneak up on us, but you sound as though there is a good team at your end.

  7. Wow.... Moannie...... you had us all scared for a minute. The latest technology has saved yet another person.
    Aren't you pleased, Like me, that we live in this modern age?

    May you come on in leaps and bounds now and soon be home.
    Love and prayers......
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

  8. First steps and giant steps on a journey to being you, and well, again.......keep putting one step in front of the other Moannie.....I plan to see you in Kent before Christmas xx

  9. My fingers and toes will remain firmly crossed for as long as you need them. It means I'm walking like a halfwit and typing is tricky, but you're worth it.

  10. Moannie, love surely conquers, if not all, then very much!

    Thinking of you, surrounded by those you love, with the blinding white light of all of us who adore you around the world shining in on your lovely face... xxx

  11. indomitable spirit and feist. you teach us)))


  12. Keep on fighting those nasties. You are a Survivor!

  13. so glad for an update with some bit of good news. keep fighting, moannie. you've got a legion of folks here who are pulling along with you.

  14. Oh wow, you've had a pretty tough time! Hope things are improving now.

  15. I am the daughter of Leave It To Davis & I'm so happy to hear that you are improving. My mother was so worried about you...crying for her dear friend who she's never met but has grown to love like a member of her own family. You are in our thoughts.

  16. As so many others have said, in so many words...

    We love you, Moannie.

  17. keeping good thoughts for you ... because David, as always, said it best .. xo

  18. oh, mum, i saw you just today, you were none of those things, you were a true vision of light and loveliness. and tomorrow even the more-so.
    i've no doubt

  19. I'm breathing a sigh of relief. Because I know you're a tough cookie. The kind that people keep coming back for because it's so tasty. Be well, and I'm still sending over healing vibes.


  20. Today is Tuesday and I have come back everyday several times a day to see if Saz has posted any are constantly in my thoughts. I hope you are healing quickly and will be home with JP and Milou soon!!!