Tuesday 15 November 2011


What I am doing here today my lovelies is apologising.   Sometimes I think I am too clever by half, though I do swear this has only happened lately with my new best friends [and which are gradually being weaned off me me lest I get too big-headed].  See, I don't think. 

Having upset someone for whom that is unthinkable I pondered some and realised that just because a doctrine doesn't suit me I have no right to diss another's devotion dedication and true belief.  Enough dreariness here already so I'll not go back into the past and drag all that muck out again; I'm a very big girl and never had nightmares, just didn't want any part of organised religion. 

But, BUT...BUT ! Were I to go that route I think old Zara might fit the bill...bit bonkers. I see my God like a large Nebulous  cloud...d'you know what I mean? Clouds of colour swirling across Universes and old Zar's beards and whiskers mixed up inside and a sign says FIND ZARA.  He know he didn't get it right first time round...not enough in the planning stages. But one thing my God would be...along with Bonkers, would be fair, none of this spinning round and pointing the finger and saying 'it's youhoo'.

Or perchance I might go the route of the many gods, the gods of minutia; of water, fire, earth and wind, chocolate cake and Tesco.

What I do know is that I am open ready and willing to suck on anything anyone sends me...I even still cannot believe this is happening or that you should give a monkeys behind.  

Just don't please tell me it is GOD'S WILL

I now have appointment to see the Oncologist.



  1. There's a god of chocolate cake? That would make a true believer out of me.

    Good luck at your appointment. Please keep us posted.

  2. If everything has soul, then we're all Gods and Goddess. I'll eat chocolate to that.

    Glad you got an appointment.

  3. The Fates, Mother Moon, Sweet Baby Jesus, whoever you want to 'speak' to.......just speak.
    Wishing you all you wish for yourself x

  4. If anyone had said to my father that it was God's will that he had cancer and suffered for 6 months through treatment, then died after all that, I would have punched them square in the mouth. I do not believe for a moment that it is God's will for any of us to suffer. And I don't believe cancer is sent from God.

    I do believe that God led me to this blog. I have been, and still continue to be, inspired by your courage, your love of life, and your words you so elequantly put on the written screen (not a page anymore). You are someone who the world needs a lot more of. You face cancer, yet you are concerned that you may have offended someone else. How highly does that speak of you???? To be so unselfish.....you make me cry. I wish I had been born sooner and had been born in Britain, and had been around to be your best friend, because I surely would have loved for you to have been mine. Hugs, hugs, hugs....wishing I was there to hold your hand through this time, as I did with my father. Know my thoughts are constantly with you.

  5. Love this!
    I'm with you on this one. It's too darn complicated to explain life, any life, and just marveling at it is enough divinity for me.

  6. It is safe to say...

    I didn't understand a word of that.

  7. I don't believe any illness is God's will or that he points a finger to say its your turn now.
    We live in a world of sickness and grief and we all share it at some time or other.Its the way the world is..... good & bad, happy and sad.
    I would never think God gave me my illness.

    I'm sorry you have to see an Oncologist but please put your complete faith in them. They are marvellous people.
    Good luck with that appointment.
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

  8. I'm with you....not much on organized religion....I suffer through the Salvation Army service once a month......to take my mother, and my three daughters take turns doing it on alternate sundays. It is painful, I'm sorry, but it is.
    If you've ever read Thomas Paine's The Age of Reason, in which he advocates deism, NOW THAT makes sense, to me.
    It isn't God's will, it's the hand you were dealt.......you already have the strength to deal with it, you just have to dig down for it. Good luck, Moannie.....I'm thinking of you.

  9. Does this make sense?: Believing that all the events of our lives, good and bad, are God's will is not the truth of the matter. But, praying that 'God's will be done', is something entirely different...

  10. To them that will, let them...

    But do not feel you need to apologise for your beautiful belief in the powers of chocolate cake and Sunday roasts, Moannie...

    We are all different in this world and no-one has the right to dictate what we should believe.

    I believe in nature sprites, faeries and elves.

    I think you are one, full of magic, light and love.

    Believe, perhaps, above all, that you have the strength in you to fight.

    That is all that matters, je te jure, ma belle.

    Fhi xxx

  11. I say stick with what you've been believing in or not believing in .. but do get angry, rip roaring mad that some thing, some inane thing is invading your very being .. stay angry at it .. I tell you this as a cancer survivor .. if you embrace anything, embrace anger and direct it at the cancer .. trust me, you will feel a lot better for it.

  12. How about sticking with Pantheism!*smiles* Best wishes for Friday... ♥

  13. if there is a God, and I choose to believe there is. And if this God designed and created the universe and nature and all; how dare a mere mortal ever put words in such a mouth and pretend to know his will.
    the rain falls on the just and unjust alike.
    if there is fairness in this life, i've not seen it. but I choose to not blame a God i've never seen. I simply choose to be grateful for every shining moment.

  14. I'm with you. Everyone has their own opinions on politics, religion, and which way the toilet paper should roll. And everyone should keep it to themselves. In the end, it's all the same.

  15. I find that I keep my opinions to myself more than in the past these days...my sister even noticed it. She told me I was nicer than in the past...what the f*** did she mean by that? Was a nasty blighter before??? I tried to tell her that people who carry guns for a living can't afford to be too nice, so perhaps it's hanging up the gunbelt that makes me nicer? No, she told me outright it was my mouth that got shot off that offended her...well dip me in batter and call me a pancake, but I think I may have to have to revert to my old ways!